Gentle, kind answers

A gentle answer really does turn away wrath (Prov 15:1).  While sometimes difficult to do in the heat of the moment, a kind, gentle answer does work.  Rather than escalating the tension, causing more emotional damage (that can last for a very long time), and extending the conflict, it can help bring the conflict to the right focus and in general dissolve the hostility.

This is a great goal to work towards with your kids, spouse, coworkers, friends, drivers on the road, etc.

Quick story where a kind answer / response would have been better.

When you (Jonathan) were in junior high one summer you decided to be a baseball umpire (even though the last time you'd played baseball was when you were 5).  As it happened you ended up behind home plate for Peter's team and I was the coach.  We were down by a run or so, Peter was on 3rd and a man on 1st.  A ball was put into play and there was a play at home - Peter was sliding in and the ball arrived just a bit before he reached the plate.  The catcher was standing on home plate when he caught the ball and you promptly called Peter out, ending the inning.

I was in the dugout and came rushing out to contest the call.  While I wasn't mad at you, I do recall not using a kind, gentle answer.  My comments to you were more on the intense side of the spectrum.  I do not remember exactly what the words were we used to 'discuss' the situation, but you ended up being mad at me and looked for a different way to get home after the game (which we lost).

Note the position of the players on the field when the ball was put into play.  There was no force out at home, so your call was incorrect.  The catcher had to tag Peter to put him out, but rather just stepped on the plate.  I could have calmly and kindly explained this to you when it happened, but don't believe that was the situation with my comments.

Much later after the game we eventually came to an understanding - you understood the baseball rules better and I was reminded that a gentle answer is a much better response.