Kids need to make decisions for themselves but at the right time

For the most part little children need to be told what to do a whole lot more than they need to be given opportunities to decide what to do.  They will naturally have their own opinions about things and varying degrees of strength of will.  No need to worry about that developing.  They need to learn to obey.

While it’s important to raise your kids to think for themselves; make decisions for themselves; be critical thinkers; etc., you can start too early doing that.  For example, a two year old does not need to be asked ‘do you want to eat dinner?’ or ‘which clothes would you like to wear?’ or ‘would you like to hold my hand while we cross the street?’  All that does (no scientific basis of knowledge here, just common sense) is teach the kid to question his parents rather than rely on his parents to provide for him, protect him, guide him, etc.  And it teaches him that he has more options than he should (yes, he is eating dinner and yes, he is holding your hand).

This is not to say you have to be hard-nosed about things, but there’s a big gap between being an overbearing, controlling, selfish louse and an anything-goes-just-be-a-happy-child parent (using the ‘parent’ term loosely in that context).

There’s plenty of time to ease into teaching decision-making skills.  Better to start with the obeying skills first.